{Baby Davis #2} Dear Baby | 04

Dear Baby,

Your sister is napping. Your daddy is at work. You future best-friend-forever Deuce the dog is curled at my feet {you're going to love him; he's going to barely tolerate you- talk to your sis about this}. You are squirming and flipping and kicking, probably from that extra large cup of coffee I had this morning. So, what better time to take a break from my day to have a little chat?

As we saw at your anatomy scan, you are quite the mover. You're big enough now that I can see you kicking from the outside, and I can see the somersaults you're doing too because my belly will go into weird looking contortions that I desperately hope aren't noticeable to the dear people sitting next to us on the pew at church. They might be a bit disconcerted by seeing my belly move at random, and then I'd have to try to not look too embarrassed at being a distraction from the sermon. So, Baby, do ya think you could keep the moving to a minimum from, say, 11:00-12:00 noon on Sundays? I'd appreciate it if you worked on that. 

You're still liking grapefruit and mango the most out of any food. I am now buying grapefruit juice at the store, too, so on those occasions when you just HAVE to have grapefruit right that very instant but I'm kinda busy doing other things, all I have to do is pour a glass instead of segmenting out pieces of fruit with a spoon. Pretty handy. Another thing I'm {ahem, we're} liking lately is coffee. Which is a bit of a conundrum due to the fact I'm {we're} not really supposed to drink lots of caffein while we're cohabiting. I'm a little fuzzy on the details of why that's so, therefore I will continue to drink my large cup in the mornings and sometimes a smaller, but equally delicious, cup in the afternoons. I'm assuming you're thanking me for that when your movements increase to a frenzy. Right? Okay, good. At least it's just coffee and not something crazy like, say sushi or Feta cheese {both of which I love and can't wait to eat again}. I'm really considering this coffee craving a perk, no pun intended, because I WILL be drinking it after being up with you three and four times a night once you're born. And you'll be getting some anyway since we're going to breastfeed, so you might as well already be used to drinking it while in the womb.

Also, Baby, we're reaching the point that sleeping at night is a toss up. {And we're both in agreement that this couldn't possibly be due to the amount of coffee we're consuming, right? Right. Besides I don't drink it after 3:00 PM, so we're in the clear. Obviously.} I think this is due to the fact that pesky spot in my back between my shoulder blades is aching again {which you couldn't possibly have anything to do with}, and the fact I feel like all the blood in my body rushes to my head when I lie laterally, and that my mind works itself into a stressed out frenzy of things I need to do before you come as soon as my head hits the pillow. I think some people refer to the last one as "nesting." Ask your daddy about that. Some nights I get a long night of deep sleep. Other nights I toss and turn and pretty much force myself to stay in bed and not look at my nursery inspiration board on Pinterest. I will say, though, the body pillow we got for Christmas is our very best friend sent from heaven and we looooooove it. 

Your daddy is saying more and more often these days, "Babe, I love your belly." Which in my mind is a clue that you're looking more and more like a baby and less and less like I've eaten a few too many Oreos and milk. Which really is debatable considering you also love Oreos and milk. Like really love them. Every night. I do feel like one day late last week I woke up {from a great night's sleep, I'm sure} and suddenly there was a basketball sized baby bump where there hadn't been one the day before. That was the day I cracked open my Wild Carrot Growing Belly Balm and Stretch Salve and started applying liberally. Your sis cooperated with me and didn't give me any stretch marks, so do you think you could oblige that one small request, too? I'm not above offering a bribe or making a deal... So let me know what ya want and I'll make it happen.

Exciting news this week is that our family upgraded from a single stroller to a double. And we got it used at a very relieving price from a sweet friend whose kiddos are 13 months apart. {She and I have had lots of chats.} You also procured your very own teeny tiny 0-3 month size swimsuit in the event that you come with me to the pool later this summer. Also new is the first addition/change to the nursery, which is right now all about Maylin, but very soon you'll be kicking her out so it will be all about you. See print below. 

Also, Baby, for your viewing pleasure, I'll include bump pics of the last two weeks of your growth. You know, in case you're interested in that sort of thing one day. You're female, so I'll bet you will be.

Now it's time for me to get some lunch ready for your daddy, and your sister will be awake in a few minutes, so duty calls. You're becoming more real each day, and I'm getting more and more anxious to meet you as your due date draws closer.

Hartlie, Baby, I love you so so much.

{Baby Davis #2} Dear Baby | 03

Dear Baby,

We're over halfway through this little journey of pregnancy together. This week we are 22 weeks along. I, for one, can barely believe it. Our time together is flying by so so fast. Here are a few little things about you at this time in our relationship.

I am craving {with a passion} thawed frozen mango chunks, grapefruit by the pound, and salads of any and every kind. I'm pretty thrilled that you want healthy food, because with your older sister I really only wanted to eat Kentucky Fried Chicken {ew! never caved, but it was tough!}, chips and salsa, and crackers with mustard. I know, right?! Pretty insane. You can hold that over her head when you get a little older.  

But back to the mangoes, grapefruit, and salads. This past week the grocery store was out of the package of frozen mango chunks that I always buy and a lump formed in my throat right there as I stood with the door open in the frozen food section. I stood there, Baby, bug-eyed and furious and sad with cold air swooshing down on top of me for a full minute before I finally conceded that frozen mangoes weren't going to appear out of thin air from the laser beams my eyes were shooting at the shelf. Sigh. I've had to go without them for a whole week, and I think my taste buds may literally dance out of my mouth with happiness when I finally get to eat them again. 

Now for the grapefruit. I have at least one half of a cold, salted grapefruit every morning with my breakfast. I really don't know how I ever thought breakfast was complete without one. Juicy, tart, sweet, and chilled. While I'm doing my early morning prenatal yoga, all I can think about is how good my grapefruit is going to be at breakfast. That and my coffee. And when I said I was eating them by the pound, I meant that I'm truly buying a five pound bag of grapefruit at the store every week. That's a lot of sour grapefruit deliciousness, Baby. I'm pretty sure we're both loving it. Now my mouth is sufficiently watering, so I'm going to move on from cravings for the time being, although I'm inwardly lamenting not being able to go grab a couple chunks of mango to munch on. {And let's not dwell on the fact that I just wrote three paragraphs about tropical fruit, okay?}

Baby, yesterday you and I went to our checkup all by ourselves. It was a nice little outing with just you and me. No big sister to have my attention, and even Daddy was at work with a busy morning. So it was just us. It hasn't been just us in a while, so I relished "listening" carefully for your kicks and talking to you on the drive. The doctor said you are super healthy. You have a very strong, fast, and regular heartbeat. It still thrills me each time I get to hear it. I always wait a little anxiously while Dr. locates it with his doppler, but as soon as I hear your little life-beats I relax and a broad smile takes over my face. 

I've been having slight contractions with you, Baby. They've been going on for about a month, and feel like very heavy cramps in my lower abdomen. I was a little concerned about these, because for one I got a little frightened that you are going to have a very impatient personality and I'm not sure if, as a mama, I can hang with that. And for two, I'd really like you to stay inside your little Baby-cave as long as possible so you can enter our world completely developed and healthy and so you don't have to live in the NICU and can come home with me. Have no fear, though, Baby. Dr. said that these contractions were perfectly normal and was not concerned about them at all. I'm supposed to pay attention to them to make sure they don't become too regular or painful, but other than that, we're in the clear. So, Baby, if you're doing this uterus activity thing to get some additional attention, I hear ya. I'm in tune. So please, let's not get too carried away and stay inside Mama for, say, 18 more weeks or so. Then, by all means, you can come out. Thank you. That would make Mama very happy.

Baby, one advantage you have is that you're my second pregnancy. With your sister I was very self-conscious {and very ignorant} about lots of different things. With you, I am embracing much more. I love this little belly bump you're giving me, and I'm not as hesitant to show it off. I am much more comfortable in my skin with you. That is a huge relief and a great blessing. I feel I am more free to love on you and be proud of you. There are definite advantages to being a second child, and I believe this is one of them.

One of the things I am looking forward to most, darling Baby, is seeing the way you and your sister will interact. I am so anticipant of that unique sister-bond, and I can't wait to watch that develop between you two. As a mother, I'm going to do all I can do foster and nourish that special relationship, although I'm pretty sure it will have no trouble developing on its own. 

To sum up, I've so enjoyed noticing ways that you are your own little person already, even at a gestational age of 22 weeks. I can't wait to  know you more. 

I love you, my sweet Baby Hartlie.

And one more picture from a couple weeks ago. I guess you could say this is the first picture of you and Maylin together. Makes my mama-heart melt.

H

{Baby Davis #2} Dear Baby | 02

Dear Baby,

You have a name. You have a face. You seem so  much more real now. This past week we went for your anatomy scan and were able to see your image for the first time.

You are perfect.

You have ten little fingers and ten little toes. You have a four-chambered heart beating at 148 beats per minute. You weigh a whopping 8 ounces. You have two kidneys and two lungs and one loooong spine that stretches the length of your back.

Already I can see glimpses of your own personality. You are quite the little wiggle worm- flipping, twisting, turning, and kicking. You were hardly still the whole time we watched you. This has carried over into all parts of our life, for there is rarely a time {day or night} that I don't feel your movements. My hunch is you are going to rock the world of this little family.

As you grow and make your presence more noticeable, I find myself thinking of you more often. And praying for you by name. And anxiously anticipating your entrance into our world.

Happy New {Birth} Year, Baby. You're making it shine already.

{Baby Davis #2} Dear Baby | 01

Dear Baby,

I promise I haven't forgotten about you. It's just that things have been a little hectic around here. You see, I'm still halfway waiting for things to return to "normal" from when your big sister was born over 8 months ago. I'm still trying to catch my breath. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around this whole "mothering" business, which is really a lot harder than my mother {your grandmother} made it look. I'm still new at this. I'm still learning. And most days I feel like I'm still drowning in everything I don't know and am unsure about.

I know, I know. You're thinking, "Mom, get it together; only 6 more months till I get here. If you haven't gotten it together by now, I'm not sure that you will. And I really need you to by the time I'm born. Because then you'll have two little babies depending on you. And I'll be a newborn, and I'll really need a lot of your time and attention. So please, Mom, for the sake of our whole family. Get. It. Together."

Here's my promise to you, Baby. By the time you're born I'll have fully accepted my role as a mom of two under two. I won't be perfect. I won't know it all. I will make many, many mistakes {that I pray with my whole heart won't land you in the emergency room or ruin your sense of self-confidence}. But I will be the best mother to you I can. I cherish you and love you and want the world for you. And hopefully, even on the days when I feel like everything is falling apart, you'll still think I'm pretty great. That's what kind of mom I want to be for you.

Your daddy and I wanted you. We created you on purpose. You were not a mistake, an "oops," an "uh-oh, we didn't mean for that to happen this soon." We knew you would come and we fully embraced that, and excitedly looked forward to knowing you exist. Now you do. And I'm so, so sorry for freaking out a little bit and doubting myself that you're coming at the exact right time when you're supposed to. Because if we'd waited any longer, you wouldn't be you. You'd be someone else. And, Baby, you're the one we want.

I feel like I've neglected you for a little bit. I spent so much time and attention and thought on your big sister when she was all cuddled inside my belly. I'm sorry that I haven't given you as much as I gave her. But I promise it's not because I love you less than I love her. And I promise it won't be this way for the whole of your lives. You will not always live in her shadow. You will not always be overlooked by me because of her. That, my sweet Baby, is a pinkie-swear-cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die oath. I love you completely and separately from your sister. You are your own little person, and I'm going to start treating you as such. You deserve my best.

So now, Baby, from this day forward, I will think about you more. Dream of you more. Plan for you more. Stare into space and smile about you more. You are already an integral part of our little growing family. You are already prayed for every day. You are your own special little someone. I hope you can tell this is a turning point {or maybe a starting point} in our unique Mama/Baby relationship, and I hope you're jumping and twirling for joy because of it, even though I can't feel you yet. 

You are mine and I am yours. Welcome to our little family.

{Baby Davis #2} Oh BABY, Here We Go Again!

That was my first thought when I took the pregnancy test back in September. 

Another BABY. Sometimes I still can't wrap my mind around it, though we've known for well over a month. So much will change, in a good way, when this new baby makes its appearance. 

Michael and I are both so very excited. We knew when we began the process of growing our family that we wanted to have our children quick and close together. And it looks like that's going to be the case for these two little ones. I am anticipating watching them grow up together, a built in best friend that they'll play with, whisper to, plot against. In my mind I can already hear them playing on the slide in the backyard, tromping up and down the stairs, giggling, slamming the door as they run in and out of the house, and yes, even fighting and arguing. 

I'm expecting the first few months when this baby is still a newborn to be difficult, of course. I'm not so jaded as all that. But after, when they're both a little older, I think it will be rather fun. For everyone in our little family.

Legacy is a word M and I have been talking about frequently over the past year or so. What kind of legacy do we want to leave for our children? What kind of legacy do we want our family to have? One of our visions is of a close knit family, close both relationally and in age. In my mind I sometimes have the feeling that all of our children are already here with us and waiting, invisible, and it's our job to bring them into the world and into our family. I can't imagine our family with any more or less members than we've planned, it's just a matter of when they will arrive. This new little baby is just the second child-sized piece to make our family complete.

I wrapped the test in a box for Michael with a few little notes & surprised him when he came home from work.

While I was pregnant with Maylin I did weekly belly bump pictures and pregnancy updates {on my old blog}, but with this pregnancy I plan to do those bump shots and updates on a monthly basis. This will make my already hectic Mom-life much more manageable! Post about Month 2 coming soon.